After an hour and a half of lying in bed with my head buzzing and my eyes not wanting to close I decided it is going to be another sleepless night for me. This is the third time this week! A trip to the doctors is needed I think.On top of this sleepless night I have a 13 hour shift at work tomorrow. Ouch! It's going to be painful!
On the nights I do manage to sleep I find I have been having the strangest of dreams.
The first one happened a few months ago. I was laid on a wooden table surrounded by people, but I couldn't see their faces, they were just blurs. I remember 2 holding my arms and 2 holding my legs with 2 others standing on each side of me. They were muttering in some gibberish I couldn't understand. Then all of a sudden out of no where they cut my chest open and took out my heart. I was screaming, trying to wriggle from their grasps but they were too strong and just held me to the table. They held my heart infront of me, continuing to talk in gibberish. I saw it beating. I was still breathing, still screaming. The strange thing about this dream was that in my sleep I could feel someone pulling around in my chest and I woke in a panic. My chest felt like someone had been fiddling around inside. Totally freaked!
The next one happened about a month ago. I don't quite remember the beginning of it, but the end is very clear, even now. I was with my dad and my little brother and a stranger approached us. He brought terrible news...my mum had died! I remember screaming, crying, lashing out and holding onto my little brother. Even though my dad was there I told my brother we were orphans. I was a mess and all I did was stay indoors. I remember going to bed crying, holding my pillow. Then...I woke up! I woke up crying and holding my pillow. I sat there and sobbed for a few moments and was so scared that the dream was reality. It really effected me in a way I cannot describe. When I saw my boyfriend I told him I had to see my mum, he kept silent and I seriously thought it wasn't a dream. Luckily it was only a dream, more of a nightmare I suppose.
The last one I had was just a few days ago. All I remember of this one was me holding a picture book, I could see myself holding it. The pictures in the book were moving. Flicking through the pages I came to a picture which made me stop and watch it's movements. It was a little girl stood at the sea shore holding a red balloon, it was a grey picture and the sea was rough. Beside her was a man who asked her "Are you going to follow mummy with your balloon?". As he finished the little girl turned to him and looked up, this little girl looked like me when I was young. Odd, as I usually cant make out peoples face in dreams but this was clear. Again, I woke up crying. It reminded me of the dream where my mum died, like a follow on but in reverse. Somehow it was all tied in together. I remember this dream being beautiful in the way I pictured it in my thoughts. A peaceful setting even though the sea was rough. The red balloon really stood out amongst the grey and darkness of the rest of the image.
These dreams have inspired me. They have all made me feel different emotions. So keep your eyes peeled for what it has inspired me to do.
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